bLisSful_TrAnQuiLity

I've Moved!

2007-01-03T20:29:00.000+08:00

PPL PPL PPL!!!!!!!!!!! Attention just wanna let you know that i've moved to LiveJournal for now, still testing it out! If im not happy i might come back, relink me at

http://tranquilsoul.livejournal.com

its been fun while it lasted..so now im just trying something new! see ya there!!

Goodbye to a wonderful year

2007-01-02T02:30:00.000+08:00

The title says it all, im in an "un-winding" mood now and just wanted to take the time to say the things i wanna say b4 i switch over to livejournal(after much coaxing from Daryl) Well this years been a blast, i've gain so much insight,knowledge,experience and made better n more lasting strong relationships with various individuals then i ever did the other pass 17 years of my existence. Looking back now, a lot of things went down this year be it good or bad i wouldn't trade it for the world. Things, ppl and places once obtained, met and visited has its effect on future events that are ever so slowly unfolding and i crave to see whats left when every layer unfolds. Though some of my goals and dreams have not been met, im still on this long rocky and sometimes unfriendly, god forsaken road towards them. In my heart i know i'll find you someday, i reach them someday..with just a blink of an eye, i see those days pass me by and i would hate to see my opportunities fly by. So this year, for me would be a year of me taking chances and giving others their time of day(cos i usually am not really that trusting to anyone new i meet, its just a defence mechanism i suppose)

What i've learnt is to never expect anything from anyone no matter how close you think you are to them, even for ppl so close to you like ur parents or siblings. Give but never ask for anything, no matter how lame n christian this sounds now its the best route to take, prevents you from getting hurt.

Spent New Years at Hanz place, had a ball of a time..singing, eating, drinkin, watchin scary gruesome movies, dancin(a lil, more for the rest. haha!) and shopping in our PJs at the local mall and market(love those $5 shoes by the way! gonna design the hell out of them!) Hanz was nice enough to supply us with toothbrushes and towels, when i got there Li Jun, Daryl, Alfred and Hanz were like just chilling out in Hanz's room(hope you like that landyard i got you Hanz, i'll pass your present to u too Li Jun..someday..haha!!) We counted down the new year in the bed room, but b4 that the rest had dinner downstairs(all those left over curries and rendang from Hari Raya! i think it was good, from the looks of the rest who ate, i was already full due to a prior feast at my cousins' BD party.) To summurise the day, we watched Saw 3 in the dark around 1 or 2am-ish...followed by ghost story telling in Hanz's room, which really freaked us out especially Daryl and me who were squealin below the make shift mattress covers put together by none other then our bubbly host Hanz!
I hated the story bout that thing Hanz saw in his room in Perth, that like moved when Hanz walked towards it(to tell you the truth, y the hell did u walk towards it in the first place! just leave the tap on!!)

The next day we went to the local mall n market to have breakfast in our PJs, god so unglam can! It really felt like we were in a chalet, we bought bubble tea, rented bad movies(it made Li Jun n Daryl sleep, The Host was to draggy!) and even bought $5 plain white shoes. And finally at around 7pm-ish we decided to take a cab back home, Daryl wanted to go to St James Power Station, but i was out of it..so tired n i didn't have enough cash YET! not until the 15th ok Daryl! haha!! Anyways thats bout it...2morrow Alfred might be comin over to design the shoe with me..more like i help him do it (friends with Benefits la!) 2morrow would be like the last day of freedom for me...b4 sch starts...here goes nothing and the next time you visit my blog..i would have moved to LiveJournal already.. keep u updated..cheers!

Bengs n Lians Unite!

2006-12-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

Well the other day Daryl and Adriel came over to my place after i knocked off from work to hang out. We actually wanted to order maybe KFC or something, but i ended up cooking instead. We had pasta with toasted japanese chicken, for dessert we had longan with almond jelly...yum, my mom made that for us. Later on we just joke and cracked it other up as usual, most of it is adriel's work la, he's the drag queen in hiding, HAHA!! Anyway to cut a long story short, we went on to macs at around 1 am for supper had nuggets and etc then we saw this... some Ah Bengs were fighting outside macs, their Ah lian girlfriends were also involved...extra lame...guai lau po..like hello if u have to do it, do it somewhere else la, sway la this ppl, the entire Macs crew were staring at them from behind their counters and not forgetting bout the diners. I really think Bengs are so Passe, get with the programme.. 369 n all that rubbish, wads that ur call number issit, another bunch of losers who try so hard to belong. here's the shaky video i tried takin...enjoy. This is Singaporean culture, WOW!!

fuckin blog

2006-12-06T22:09:00.000+08:00

sorry, something's wrong with the upload feature, for the pictures visit my Flickr account, click on the link be on the right hand side of this blog.

Devil's Bar Baby

2006-12-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

well i was invited by Nona to attend her wedding at Devil's the other night. There were girls with skimpy outfits dancing on poles, getting the ah pek's all excited n horny. so gross my god!! ew!! Then later Nona went on the stage to sing and wasn't really bad at all, her hubby later was dared to lick salt off her "LongKang"(in btw her boobs) n drink a shot of vodka or something.Had quite a good time with the rest, eating chicken wings, fries and drinking Hennessy with coke, until my cousin got a lil tipsy...argh. haha!
here are some of the pictures...

MaMa...

2006-11-23T13:10:00.000+08:00

Recently my grandmother's been having problems with her stomach, she always feels bloated and because of that she doesn't have much of an appetite. This started quite a while back already, during the second week of this month. She had been going for test and they found liquid in her tummy and had to extract it, which i felt was no big deal but on further inspection they(the doctors) found that they were focusin on the wrong part of the body when they found a lump just above her chest. I overheard my dad talkin to my aunt and she told him that the doctors said that its 90% cancer, at that moment i could see the fear and shock in his eyes. I felt scared too, because it brought me back to the time when i was in primary school when my grandfather committed suicide(due to depression). Apparently my dad cried like a mad man when he and my uncles went to the morgue to identify him; he just ran out of the room and started banging the walls with his fist crying loudly at the same time. My mom said that that was the first time my dad cried so hard, she had never seen that side of him b4, because he is always the calm one. My grandfather took his life a few blocks away from our own, they had to stitch his head up.

Anyway back to my grandmother, i didn't want anything bad to happen, mostly because of my dad. He's very VERY close to my grandmother, don get me wrong i love her too but im more scared of my dads reaction if anything goes bad. So today would be the day where the results will be out and we'll know if she has cancer, my other uncles and aunty don't even know that my aunt and dad already know that it might 90% be cancer. Today we would find out if its breast cancer or the cancer of the other parts of her body..God i hope its not too late.

Wasting Good Time

2006-11-18T15:14:00.000+08:00

I was bored out of my wits today, not to mention my dad who is suppose to be "sick" but he was still able to go to parkway(LIAR! fake MC, i should pao toh to his boss!). I asked him if he would like to go to Funan to check out that Wacom Tablet that i wanted but he kept trying to make me go to parkway first(i already went yesterday with him la!) and he said perhaps later we can go to Funan. Which i seriously doubt, he always does that, then later say its too late already or wadever rubbish..... anyway im gonna meet jere and ivan now! freakin bored at home, but thats gonna change. ok gotta rush now.. ciao

2006-11-10T15:56:00.000+08:00

some pictures i edited in photoshop. My mom bugged me to take photos of her after she came back from her company's Halloween dinner and dance thingy, that day and vio la! here's the results. To view the others go to my deviant art account at http://tranquility88.deviantart.com

2006-11-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

blogging sucks, im so gonna create a "burn" blog, to really speak my mind! then u'll see the real me. i tolerate but how much is it gonna take until i break, all this anger inside but there's no outlet for release..........when

CHeck This Out

2006-10-26T20:25:00.000+08:00

Hey guys i just recorded a cover song called "Let Me Fall" by Bethany Joy Lenz from OTH(One Tree Hill) go to this link n listen, tell me wad u think!! bye, hope i don screw ya ears too much! haha!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=426780

ramblings

2006-10-12T13:07:00.000+08:00

well, life since school started has been somewhat of an anti-climax. The class is really small and it starts at 3pm. A normal day for me would be waking up around 11am, go to the toilet and eventually end up lying on the sofa and thinking of wad to make for breakfast. At 2pm i rush to leave the house and walk all the way out of the main road, cross the overhead bridge and wait for bus 15. By the way i donno wads wrong with the weather nowadays, its been really hot n humid, by the time i reach the bus stop im covered in sweat(ITS ANNOYING!) Then in class we start drawing figures, this week we were made to draw each other, a person on the class list must model for us while the rest draws him/her. Mr Wee has been really cool with us, he's pretty intimidating but i guess he's a nice guy.

Oh ya the other day i helped Zhi Wen with his Digital Imaging poster assignment by modeling for him, haha! as in we took pictures together. I still find his title a little dry though, no offence. Its called "Escape Of The Gays" haha! omg so ya, i brought sunglassess and all and even taught him how to be more feminine, imagine that! I got to see the final movie poster he did yesterday and laughed n laughed, it was hilarious and i congratulate him on pushing boundaries(not to mention tons of gay guys & girls might be after him) OK! enough bout school, i have to work every weekend nowadays at Isetan Scotts(Lido). I hate it there, my counter is like reduced to 3 shelves and i have to stand there for like 8 hours with no storeroom to hide in. hehe! In Seiyu we have this really small space built into the showcase and inside there's this small chair where i can like sit n chill b4 going out again to face retarded customers(some are nice, im just dissing those idiotic few. Plus the staff toilet in Isetan is like so cramped packed with boxes n boxes of cartons, it kind of sinks as in literally and when i go to get water from the cooler i have to like hold my breath(it stinks!) smell like some garbage dump.

Weather spells weather spells! lets do that, bring the rain BRING THE RAIN! Plus that stupid haze is annoying me, its preventing me from my precious jogging routine..actually its also bcos im kind of lazy nowadays...watever everyone has their days. Need to push on, sometimes when u see what other ppl can do,that in comparision with the other guy who seems to be so much more talented, so much more in tuned with everything, someone who seems to do things so much more effortlessly n gain so much more in such little time,u kind of get demoralised and then u start thinkin maybe i should give up. Say NO!! don let them do that to you, you can't expect to be good at something or know more stuff by just relyin on sheer talent alone. Read a book, take up a course which would aid u in achieving ur goals...so get ur ass up n do something..ok WTF i really rambling now..i should go b4 i bore u, till the next post bye!

Im Liking How It Hurts

2006-09-24T01:54:00.000+08:00

Im Liking How It Hurts
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

done when i was feeling really dark and angry

gone

2006-09-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

ok to those who r concern, i'll be leaving for KL 2morrow morning n i won't be back till this Saturday. Time to catch up with my shopping skills and bag hunting!
argh gotta work at 6pm later...somebody shoot me pls

cannot make it...

2006-08-29T23:03:00.000+08:00

cannot make it...
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

ahh!!!

2006-08-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

ahh!!!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

The Murder Of Bang Lun

2006-08-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

The Murder Of Bang Lun
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

it rises!

2006-08-29T22:02:00.001+08:00

it rises!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Whore

2006-08-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

Whore
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Ballerina Moment

2006-08-29T22:01:00.001+08:00

Ballerina Moment
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Runway

2006-08-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

Runway
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

The GANG!

2006-08-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

The GANG!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Charmaine, Marina, Zhi Wen, Hanif and Me

Bye bye fathers day

2006-08-29T21:56:00.000+08:00

Bye bye fathers day
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

The Guy behind saw her this la, so embarassing!

Mad Woman2

2006-08-29T21:55:00.000+08:00

Mad Woman2
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Hanif And Me(step model only...)

2006-08-29T21:54:00.001+08:00

Hanif And Me(step model only...)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Innocent Marina, we forced her to do it!

2006-08-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

Innocent Marina, we forced her to do it!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Mad Woman(Charmy)

2006-08-29T21:53:00.001+08:00

Mad Woman(Charmy)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Acting seductive...don think its working though!! hehe!

2006-08-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

Acting seductive...don think its working though!! hehe!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Hanif(sufferin from constipation)

2006-08-29T21:52:00.001+08:00

Hanif(sufferin from constipation)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

................

2006-08-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

................
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Porn Stars2

2006-08-29T21:48:00.001+08:00

Porn Stars2
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Porn Stars

2006-08-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

Porn Stars
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Zhi Wen volunteered to be my victim, didn't know he was so "ON" & open minded..most guys would chicken out! wimps!

Porn Star

2006-08-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

Porn Star
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

ok, i promised to upload the pictures of our manic moments that day in school..here are a few. Try to keep ur hands off urself while u view them, i know its hard, just try.

wallpaper

2006-08-29T21:40:00.000+08:00

wallpaper
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

wallpaperroom

2006-08-29T21:39:00.000+08:00

wallpaperroom
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Scandalous

2006-08-19T14:42:00.001+08:00

lately i've been wondering whether anyone reads this blog? it seems to be stagnant and im starting to wonder whether i should just close the damn thing.
Anyhow, hopefully plans for Happy this Sunday will follow through even if its just the 3 of us.. Yesterday was fun, went to school in the morning to hand in my LAST! assignments for VisCo(Visual Communication) and i was quite pleased with my work although reproducing that wallpaper on an A1 board sucked, so light coloured...should have darken it a bit...shit...but who am i to complain right?

Later Charmy, Zhi Wen and i went to view some of the PID students creative thinkin works which weren't half as bad as VSC students leh..we ended up standin there for like ages listening to KheeJan talk bout the whole show and etc...he kept goin on n on n on n on bout it wah like so long man i was gonna lose my patience.
In class later on, Charmy found a toilet plunger n like omg the handle looked like a dildo and coincidentally she also had a camera....so go figure the rest out, i did a X rated pose and the rest was history.

We had a fun time takin scandalous pictures(Hanif,Charmy,Zhi Wen and Marina) haha! even Marina man! she's like so innocent n we corrupted her.haha! Then after that we went to TM to get some chow(food), we had a craving for subway and went there. oooo! aahh!! i had delicious meatball sandwich with onion sauce, simply delicious...hmmmmmm, Zhi Wen had an extra long sub, which he couldn't finish and eventually ta pao home...Hanif hummed some funeral song for the bread Zhi Wen was wrapping up while i sat there n smirked in amusement, Charmy n Marina were talkin bout something else. The conversation slowly progressed to chocolate fondue and ice-skating, everyone didn't really know how to iceskate n i suggested we go next week. Everyone was suprisingly on for it even Zhi Wen! haha! Later on we went to Tampines Mall shopping centre cos Charmy had to shit, afterwhich we went on to yamaha n Toys R Us, cos Zhi Wen wanted to get some toy electronic fishin game(don ask!) Durin our time there Marina,Charmy n me went on to further take more pictures(dirty ones) haha! using toy swords n mini ballerina skirts.

Then we said our gd byes and dad picked me up and we went home to change n go watch An American Haunting together with mum n denise. The show very shockin man, one min silence the next BOOM! my whole seat vibrated while moving backwards and Denise who was holding the pop corn almost fling it all over herself n behind her(Mr bean moments haha!). Oh there was this girls behind us with weird laughter, like so retarded...half the time my sis n i were laughin cos of her. overall not a bad day, hope to have more like it...getting lazy now...more pics of our scandalous time in sch in future posts.

hell week

2006-07-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

so finally basic photography is finally over and so will colour lessons on monday. whew finally at last i can't wait for next block to come! finish class at 12pm! that means more time to hang out with friends and yes our long awaited clubbing date @ HAPPY! yay yay. i so need a break from sch and spend more time with my fave bitches Alexius AKA Daryl and super retarded french slut Adriel. its time we spend more time out and bitch bitch bitch, i really enjoyed the other time at starbucks! so funny hehe, sarong party boy! haha! anyway im currently thinking of continuing my song writing and etc, i really wanna start my own band again...this time on my terms n conditions. lalala im really bored now, at my grand mama's place now. hehe i managed to log on to the net via someone else's wireless router, poor sucker muwahahahaha!

Since the start of this month i've come to realise how ugly ppl really are, they help you only when they wan something, especially in design, its a dog eat dog kind of thing. i spend less then a week struggling trying to complete my silk screening shit for colour and i finally finished it on the last day which was yesterday thank god for this kind soul who helped me all the way. Wilson who is in charge of the print shop, he not only was able to help me in my entire printin process but the whole group of students in Illie's colour class, which if i might add is not very small. FOr the 4 days we were given to come up with the 35 designs and producing the actual product, i've seen ugly ppl. U go up and ask them n they just like "huh...i donno...." n they slowly fade out n walk away. so annoyin, bloody fuckers. i spent thurday from 9am till 9pm in the damn print shop washing washing washing, printing printing and scrubbing scrubbing stuff. and guess wad at the end the day, u might guess that i managed to finish my board...but no....i had to redo it cos illie was not happy with my board cos there was paint splatter here and there. she said i will not regret it, that since i've done it..i would be able to do a better job if i do it again. so at like 8 plus when the print shop was suppose to close at 9pm i had to redo my board again. u can imagine the sinky feeling i had at the pit of my tummy, when i heard those words.

So there i was, feeling totally hopeless silk screening my board white which was all for nothing. the paint wasn't smooth enough and i had to go buy spray paint at some shop all the way on the other far far FAR! end of the world. thank god i managed to find it, the directions given to me were a blur. anyway the very next day i was so suprised to finish my board b4 3pm, all thanks to Wilson. even though his english is totally broken(i had such a hard time figurin wad he was saying to me half the time), he's always disappearin and he's always helping someone else but me! hmph! haha but he still managed to help me all the way, he made my day la.. so there here's my thank u.

this is not the end ok i still have 4 smaller bloody tiles to do, don care gonna hand paint them.... wadever hopefully 2morrow would be a better day, hope our dinner plans will follow through.

2006-07-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

IM GOING TO BLOW UR MIND....

i like this effect...

2006-07-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

i like this effect...
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

just playin around while i was uploading, i kind of like this shot..

MYOHMY

2006-07-13T21:56:00.000+08:00

MYOHMY
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

again testing some shots, this was taken inside a fenced up area at the beach, it was so embarrassing climbin in and squatting down to take this photo. Its suppose to show how the world is ever changing, like everything is sooner or later revamped or re-developed.

meow!

2006-07-13T21:52:00.000+08:00

meow!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

took this at the beach, just trying out some shots on my DSLR b4 shooting with my nikon SLR cam... don wanna waste film! lalalaalala

....................

2006-07-12T14:34:00.000+08:00

im in the colour studio now stoning, Trixie just left and im bored....... hopefully Edil comes to save the day.........ok now the whole thing just changed.........Joel said that we can go to class now..huh!!! weird timing! Terrence!!!! u!!! sorry Edil, anyway you're on the way down now so ya, will chat with u for a while.
OMG i sound like some freaking psycho, WTF am i doing...Ladies and Gentlemen this is the result of boredem! bye!

BITCHIN SESSION 1

2006-07-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

okay its me again and a new blog entry, yay! at last after such a long time. What can i say its typical blogger behaviour, it seems like i've disappeared right! no la i've always been here, i just couldn't get my lazy ass fingers to type.
So here's the news, WTF is wrong with some ppl? i mean ok if a person is talking to you, can u at least just pay a little attention? i really hate it when you're talking your heart out trying to get your point across to some asshole and that asshole's attention slowly fades out. u can literally see their freaking pupils dilating la. hello friend pls la, i know i can be a bit boring but pls show me some respect can. nowadays in school, its really been quite boring and stressful.. stupid basic photography lecturer doesn't bother to teach us shit, yes he did explain to us on how to put our films into those funny containers, he did show us how to enlarge our picturers.........actually i think thats all he did.. like wow amazing they get paid to sit around and boss us around, not even bothering to lift a finger to show us the basics. yes we're students you wan us to learn from our own experiences but how the hell r we suppose to know how to develop the darn film, how much chemicals n their ratios to use, wad r the right timings for us to change the chemicals. "yes i did show u wad!?" oh really meh, you showed us!!! i don think using a fucking dvd case, ur half drunk fatterning sweet tea drink, a dvd disc and etc is essential to help us visualise how the real thing will go. "i ask you guys to search on how to process film online wad?!" oh really meh? first of all developing film is so fucking not like drawing OK! u can't just ask us to find some shit on the net, study it and then expect us to be geniuses and do it on the spot!! theory is one thing and practicals are another thing ok! at least give us basic guidelines to follow, is that too much to ask. i freaking screwed my first roll of film can!! all thanks to you.

Even preparing a stupid summary of wad is required in the whole basic photography course is so hard for you to handle, you got to resort to grabbin ONE FUCKING SHEET from another lecturer and throwin all ur responsibilities on poor mark to photocopy like god knows how many sheets and distributing them to the whole class! u can also conveniently forget to do a write up on wad we were suppose to do on that day, can say oops i forget somemore. Like hello! maybe u're not fit to be a lecturer, just go do wad ever it is you're good at la, like eatting french fries or drinking fatterning sweet tea! maybe u should just beg some coffee shop uncle or even better the canteen's western food stall auntie to adopt u, then u can be her guinea pig, free food everyday! wake up la! this is a school, u are suppose to teach n not be some free loader ok!

Then another thing, i am like SO SO SO SO SO SICK!!!!! SICK!!!!!!!!! of ppl who cannot be bothered to lift a finger to do anything in group projects, ok if you r not interested to do well, by all means pls fail or slack. but don drag me down with u!! put in some fucking effort! i can be bothered to search n source information, U at least do the same. don tell me u don have time, u have other projects, thats ur fucking problem! u can't manage ur time, so what it doesn't concern me! u jolly well do ur part n not drag me down with u ok! omg im like bitching so much today, but i like it!!!!!! gosh i need a vacation!

U ah!! another one, crazy la! talk so much, say this, say that n look wad happened NOTHING!!!! maybe u just feel too much or maybe u're just plain psycho la! RETARD!

oh and one more thing i hate those christians, no disrespect but those few that either force ppl, or keep pestering us to go to their churches. like bug off, wads wrong with reading the tarot, wads wrong with being different, wads wrong if im not a christian, wads wrong if i make mistakes now and then. i suggest u GO BACK N OPEN UR BIBLE N READ IT IN DETAIL AGAIN! obiviously some ppl haven't been reading it in detail, hypocrite! IF GOD IS ALMIGHTY, THE ONE THAT IS GOOD AND RIGHT THEN HE MUST HAVE MADE THE WORLD N ME JUST THE WAY HE INTENDED! so don go around tellin ppl that they'll go to hell if they don convert, cos in actual fact maybe u would go there! after all you are the one going around cursin n sprouting ur fucking blashphemy from ur own diluted minds everywhere.

ok that felt good, there's more but i'll save it for another session, im missing desperate housewives for this ok!!!!

ENOUGH!

2006-06-06T12:50:00.000+08:00

ok im not sure wad the hell happened to my blog's main picture, sheesh does this mean i gotta change my blog skin again.....
anyway, today i hope i can finish my plant line drawings...

lately i've been thinking why i even give a hoot bout u? you don even try to talk about the issues at hand and keep trying to steer away from them. Im tired of hanging out with them when you're around, cos to tell u the truth u just drain me of my energy, seeing you just sucks the life out of me. Yes i love you, but i don think as much as i did in the past. Donno wads with you, if u can't even find the time for those who love you and always come up with last minute lame excuses just to save ur ass then i'm telling you now, that u don deserve them. I know you're trying, but i don think pretending nothing happened is trying? am i right?
Stop trying to be something you're not, you don have to be this hyper person everytime you're with them...no wonder at the end of the day u always sulk and whine that u wan to go home...i know you..well i think i do..did...
Hopefully you read this entry and im am sorry if i hurt ur feelings. This is how i feel, so you can either deal with it or run away.

Rainy Days

2006-05-28T13:09:00.000+08:00

Just got up and its raining, there's something bout rainy days that just makes you want to sit and think. The smell of fresh rain in the air and the constant yet subtle hum of raindrops falling from the sky as they kiss the earth, induces a trance like state in me. Well the times we spent together were nothing but fun, though it ended just when it started. I'll never forget it and i hope you'll move on, if only for your own good. Yes we had our funny pasts, which i think we both can't get over, hopefully in time we will, but thank you for that great experience it'll always stay with me.

Well today seems like its going to be another one of those lazy days where all i do is laze around but hey who am i to complain its better then rushin to complete a project. Yesterday though we didn't get into those clubs i did in fact enjoy myself and i really do hope the rest did to. I thank the heavens every day for bringing these special ppl into my life, for without them i wouldn't be the person i am right now. You guys know who you are, im sure i don't have to mention your names. They all say that friends all come and go, and that family is still the best....i don feel that with you guys, we been through so much all these years and i thank you all for these priceless life lessons you all have taught me. In a way we sought of grew up together and i am indeed glad for that to happen.

Keywords from our wacky past only you guys know....

-NAC
-Samhain Chalet
-Magic Night
-Luna
-Belwicket
-Morgan and Hunter
-Rag
-Sushi Craze
-Black Pearl
-Tarot
-Trick Or Treat!!
-Chilli Crabs(only a few know this)
-Gaydar
-Ear piercings
-Spirit Board
-Psychic Board
-Haunted Changi Chalets
-East Coast beach Parties
-Michelle Branch
-Cycling
-SWS
-Celestique
-You're Together!!!(Dating)
-I smoke like a chimney
-Charmed
-The Craft
-Marina Bay
-BFD
-NaNa and Cirus
-Altars
-Nancy
-Happy
-Cat
-Don CHa!
-Leave The Pieces
-Faghag

brooding...

2006-05-27T13:07:00.000+08:00

Here again
As the sun lite sky softly alluminates
Its glow on my face.
I relive once again my younger days
When everything was but phase.
Oh how simple life could be
If we just took time to see
What's most important from now and then
What wonders could we manifest?
In this dark cast city
We call home.

FUN FUN FUN

2006-05-03T13:06:00.000+08:00

the past few days b4 school started were one of the best i've had so far. went over to Cat's house on saturday, well actually i had a jamming session with my band friends b4 that, but i donno wad happened, no one called to update me so i figured it was cancelled. Anywayz i forgot exactly wad happened but i ended up at Bugis with Ivan, Hanz, Jere and Irvin. We then went shopping to get the stuff for our fondue party! but in the end Cat just made some finger food she and the rest bought. It was quite good if i might add, Hanz even made snowball, i didn't know alcohol could taste so good..mmm.. basically we talked talked talked, played ungame n talked even more. im glad we played that game at least it got me to open up n stuff, i was kind of suprised the rest were not shocked with my views n opinions unlike in past situations(don ask!)
The next few days, i met up with Hanz n his cousin Khai(sorry if wrong spellin..met them in the late afternoon after my "fun" outing at East Coast Beach, Jane should know wad i mean haha! Hanz and his Cuz were actually shopping at Ikea b4 i met them at City Hall, we went to eat at food junction..well actually me! hehe..both of them just watch so ding dong ding dong we walked, shopped, n went to Swensens to get some drinks(quite good actually)
by the way thanks for the CD ya, i just watched episodes 1 n 2 yesterday night, so exciting!! Ivan must find the second CD pls!!
We went to Bugis Village after that, cos i needed to find a ear stud..finally found it n it was like quite big but i like big so ya haha! ^_~ Hanz bought this huh ear kind of ring thingy, at first it was quite ok, didn't think it was too big but at his house after trying...u know the rest..sorry ah my post not so exciting today, im like a bit bummed out now in the sch library, the com sucks..no flash player!!! ok u guys might be uestioning y im at his house well u see we were actually in a cab on the way back home when i suggested we went to Happy at Tanjong Pagar..haha, there's always a first time for everything. Hanz didn't mind n i wished his cuz could come to but hanz said she to lazy hmm...
The place great, met Irvin n his friends as well...omg so funny when we were on the dance floor Jasper...irvins friend was like trying to hump my bag..hehe.. cos while we were walking my bag accidentally like keep poking his ass..i mean come on the place was crowded where else was i suppose to carry my bag but in front?? we were squeezing through the crowd u see...drank some nice drinks.quite ex also. Altogether the night wasn't really bad, it was funny as well, especially on the dance floor..remember Hanz..Irvin...so scandal?? haha!
Anyway after that went to eat at the Maxwell Market, actually i just drank la and said our goodbyes Irvin was nice enough to drive me n hanz back, thanks ^_^....my new bag now smells of smoke, but somehow when i open n smell it...i just smile, donno y?? there's more but u ppl can ask me in person..getting lazy already....bye

love the pink

2006-04-29T12:02:00.002+08:00

love the pink
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

dramatic shot!

2006-04-29T12:02:00.001+08:00

dramatic shot!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Hippie Chicks

2006-04-29T12:02:00.000+08:00

Hippie Chicks
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

god i just love them...

Sunny Days

2006-04-29T00:00:00.002+08:00

Sunny Days
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

just playin around with photoshop..

In Sch!

2006-04-29T00:00:00.001+08:00

In Sch!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Nina n me

2006-04-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

Nina n me
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

On the way to the hawker centre, took a pic with Nina

Poly models

2006-04-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

Poly models
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

today we VSC ppl were at our briefin in sch...

WTF!! Angelina!! hahaaha!

2006-04-26T21:38:00.000+08:00

WTF!! Angelina!! hahaaha!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

ok!! who took this!!

Me n Trixie

2006-04-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

Me n Trixie
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

scandal!! right.. u wish!

Nuria! OHM!

2006-04-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

Nuria! OHM!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Camp Ignite!

2006-04-26T00:38:00.000+08:00

Camp Ignite!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Very model like

2006-04-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

Very model like
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

u look hot!!

Crazy ppl

2006-04-26T00:36:00.000+08:00

Crazy ppl
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Half Done Design

2006-04-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

Half Done Design
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

our beautiful design!!

Half of Nuria!!

2006-04-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

Half of Nuria!!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Nuria OI!!!!!!

thoughts in a bottle...

2006-04-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

live's hard, don't u find it so sometimes. it feels as though life sometimes squeezes everything out of you and then as though as it wasn't bad enough, it kicks u in the knees. There are some things that words cannot express.............

Anyway on a lighter note, i went for CAMP Ignite and had a freaking good time, met so many different kinds of ppl. At first Shawn n me were a bit apprehensive about the whole thing; to suddenly be submerged in a whole new world/lifestyle, sheesh its scary. But once the second day passed everything was a-ok! remembering the dance cum pub thing, it was fun...Roseanne like went crazy, it was as though she transformed from this innocent girl to this dancing queen. haha! Nina, Angelina, Racheal, me, Shawn, Ming Long n some other ppl from Nuria(our sub group empire) joined in. OMG by the time i went to shower my shirt was like super wet n sweaty, not to mention the smell, ew!! its like other ppls sweat all mixed together with mine, cos we were all dancing real close to each other almost rubbing >_<
The camp was a blast, i personally enjoyed all that cheering especially the chicken wing one, Hi 5! Stacie, we rock, best cheerers ever!! HAHA! though Design sch didn't win i think personally we did a damn good job on cheeerin on our ppl, i could really feel the team spirit.

Went for the Moses's breakfast thing this morning, omg the talk was a bit slow but it was slightly entertaining lor, i enjoyed the performances n ya it really like inspired me to form a whole new band; even found out that Stacie was into indie music, mostly my kind of fav genres, yay!! can form band now, Shawn, Stacie n me!! yay yay!! so exciting!! guys must join Music Vox k!! even got scandal already lor, when we left after the whole thing to go eat, everyone voted to go Pasta Mania at Tampines to eat but Trixie n i didn't want so we went to eat at Long John Silvers opposite the pasta thing, after chatting n eating we left to meet the rest, while walking back ppl were like omg u should have told us u guys were together, Eunice even said that she saw us holding hands, like huh! wear specs lah girl..so funny, but it was fun to see u guy's expressions. Then we went to Toys "R" US, so funny we were like little kids lor, even played with this ribbon thing that looked real "bad" "gross bad" like it could be use for something else..laugh n laughed until the staff had to ask us to leave.hehe!!.. anyway from there we took the train at Tampines, i left for home, but looking back now i donno y..damn should have gone with the rest..argh.. the rest went to town..

Denise n Me

2006-04-17T13:41:00.000+08:00

Denise n Me
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Donno y so many ppl wore red that day??

He he!

2006-04-17T13:39:00.000+08:00

He he!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Makan!

2006-04-17T13:38:00.001+08:00

Makan!
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Posin

2006-04-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

Posin
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Was at Daryl's play at Semei ITE. Had a fun time, the play was a real eye opener.

Argh! Early Mornings...

2006-04-05T21:29:00.000+08:00

Whew, today kind of sucked.. i started this morning by having some un-recallerable nice dream and at the brink of conciousness i realised i had half an hour or more to continue my light slumber, when my Breathe ringtone rang. My heart skipped a beat for a split second due to that sudden arupt sharpness from moi's own ringtone that pierced my "half-awake" ears. I couldn't bear to open my eyes, not to mention even bothering to go answer it but my super hands-on mummy passed it to me....................

(Me)"hello?..."

(Caller)"Hi, Darren..this is Jasmine ah."

(Me)"oh hey(tryin not to sound to sleepy here)

(Caller-Jasmine)"Darren, i need you to change location today, from Seiyu to Raffles"

(Me)"huh?!, oh ok lor.."(mumbling in my mind, realising i have to wake up n leave now cos Raffles opens earlier)

(Jasmine)"thanks ah, its 9.30am to 5.30pm...(mumbles something in chinese, but i don understand)"

(Me)"huh? wad??"

(Jasmine)"its 9.30am to 5.30pm, (mumbles somemore stuff in chinese, but i figured it must be her trying to tell me the reason y, but i still don get it)

(Me)"ok ok, got it."

(Jasmine)"thanks ah"

(Me)"yup ok bye"

so ya, had to drag my lifeless body to the bathroom, once that water hit me i woke right up..breakfast was much better then the previous few days(energy bar n an L-Carnitine tablet(suppose to help turn fat into energy..don ask!), followed by a drink of water). Went out to celebrate Lewis's n Lucas's birthday at Bedok's 85 hawker centre yesterday. While buying their cake, i got myself a mouth watering Danish!!(chey prepare seh! i feel all grown up now..hehe). So had my Danish plus mum's mashed hard boiled eggs with mayonaise(HEHE!! sounds bad...anyway for those of u who donno its pronounced MA-YO-NAI-SE, not MA-YO-NEE-SE), then i headed to the bus stop on the mainroad,hmm nothing like fresh polluted road air in the morning. The bus ride was boring as usual, lucky this time i found a seat quickly n didn't have to stand the whole journey through. argh, i always have this thing where by everytime when im almost reaching the bus stop the bus i have to take always arrives to soon n being the big-headed, paiseh kia(translation-kid) i am, i'll always just pretend that its not my bus n just wait for the next one. Today was a different case I RAN!(wah liao, this gee nah ah!, like dat also wan to say..seh beh bo liao leh!)..i made it!

Well nothing much has changed at Robinsons, just that my whole damn counter's been shifted directly in front of the cashier, right smacked at the back of the shopping complex, u tell me how to open more bills like dat!!! huh!! Plus its so open n wide that i can't hide n do stuff like talk on my handphone cos that cashier behind is usually used by T%#n who is like the in-charge of my dept, i shall not mention names in case i kena sued. I realised that alot of the free gifts were not there at the counter n from experience, thought that it was wise to bring out a few from the storeroom just in case ppl wanted then n i had to run n dig through all those hugh stacked boxes in the storeroom wasting their time. I donno y the boxes r not labelled properly, i had to keep stacking n restacking boxes while trying to find specific gifts, the boxes aren't exactly light u know. When i finally had everything i wanted i soon found out that i didn't have enough space at my counter to store them so i had to bring a few back, not forgetting stacking n restacking boxes again. The day passed, with me standing there reading the relaunch of previous & new Lab Series products, all renamed n repriced(more exx!!). Was thinkin most of the day whether i should buy the whole set of brightener products, really wan to clear my skin!!! argh....anywayz, sold 3 stuff today, actually one, the other 2 was just bought by regulars, well better then nothin i guess, this is the result when one goondoo pass down the lame idea to move counters to the next goondoo; kena stupid location and with stupid location = no sales......How they expect the regulars to find the counter, plus no one really walks there?

Chit Chatted a bit to the Hugo Boss girl behind me n then to Freeda, had fried Mee Pok for lunch, it was damn good man, i took lots of green chillis and then at 5pm Wymond came, chatted a bit more and then i left. Free at last!! Went out n then took bus 36 from there to home sweet home, it was raining heavyly when i got to my house bus stop, so i had to open my red umbrella..freaky man the lighting, just like dat time with Alfred n JJ at the Gym..it was raining n we had to walk to the Pasir Ris Interchange from Aranda n this hugh lighting bolt just appeared right beside us behind a building, it was so scary n funny at the same time. U should have seen Alfreds reaction hehe, a long n big gasp(he just stood there with his mouth wide open)..hehe.....ok so u guys shou;d be able to figure the rest out on your own, it'll eventually lead to me typing now so ya, till then im out.

THE WRECKERS

2006-03-28T21:22:00.000+08:00

THE WRECKERS
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

They're Here!

2006-03-28T21:12:00.000+08:00

Finally after months and months of waiting, the video to the Wreckers debut single Leave the pieces is out! For those of you who don't know who they are, they're a country duo, the band's formed by Michelle Branch & previously her back up vocals Jessica Harp. Their album was actually suppose to have been release early last year but was pushed forward for some unknown reason, its currently not out yet till May 23. but for now i'll just have to entertain myself with this new video, which if i might add is damn damn good, listen to the vocal harmonizing, the interesting melodies plus the stories the lyrics speaks of. The video's in my mirrior lakes section of my blog for those interested to watch, they ROCK!

ramblings

2006-03-24T14:45:00.000+08:00

finally after a long break, im back. well many things has happened these pass few months, been working n hell am i loving it. Met some really nice ppl and i've learnt so much from them, not only in the job aspect but in many other ways; being more expressive, not caring bout wad ppl think n stuff, the good stuff. Right now im at my cousin's house just hanging around talking and stuff, its amazing wad u can find out when u sit down n talk one on one with another person. Been looking forward to today, very bored stayin at home. i just love it here, practically grew up in this house cos i use to spend most of my fridays here as some of my friends can tell u. My mom n aunt used to go to the bedok gym just opp the road and my cousins n me would usually tag along, sometimes using it as well. oh ya and when the pokemon craze consumed Singapore, we would always go downstairs and to the "Ti-chum" card machine and spend tons of cash on fake sticker pokemon cards. omg we were so niave! i still have all of them now, all 150 of them.haha!
Anyway i've just recently taken up and applied for driving at comfort driving school, passed my basic theory and now just registered for my provisional drivers licence to take lessons in a real car n at the same time preparing for my final theory test. god, i just want to get it over with!! then i can actually drive my dads' car!! can't wait!

I donno wads wrong but i've been having some freakish nightmares recently; one was where i was in a dark forest at night with a friend, it wasn't scary actually it was pretty serene and peaceful, there was a few HDB flats in front of us and the sky was eluminated with the glow of many stars and the moon. Then when i look up to look at the moon i realised it was actually an Alien spaceship, it sounds lame but it look really really scary ok, like independence day like daT.. aNYWAY my friend just took off and i couldn't find him so i ran into the flats in front of me n the whole place is like a ghost town. freaky, it was even more scary as it seemed so real, plus with the realisation that aliens do actually exist thank god i woke up in time...

Can't wait for Monday to come, going to jam and if i remember correctly wad Casper told me, we're gonna record the song i sang n played at JamX at Orchard park last year. Gosh it seems like ages ago, but the experience was great. The day b4 yesterday was fun as well, met JJ n then went to the gym at Aranda to work out, even went to the suana, wah like so glam like dat but trust me no lor. We did have a fun time, gotto catch up with him on stuff n im sorry that i didn't ask more ppl to come cos if theres more you guys gotta pay. We both sorta sneaked in without paying, i mean JJ not me...yeah... Got work 2morrow at Taka, yes! can work with my cousin again, which means...gossip gossip gossip!! can't say the rest cos its too private, just that theres gonna be quite a few eye candies there to drool n stare at. Argh, ok im not really sure on wad else to right, i've just been verbally vomittin my thoughts n feelins down in this blog but who cares, u either hate it or love it. If you don like it then why read in the first place??

Cousins(Chinese New Year)

2006-02-12T21:11:00.000+08:00

Cousins
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Just a thought

2006-01-17T11:13:00.000+08:00

I don understand, y issit when we want something real bad we don usually get it but when we really couldn't care less about something we get it? We're always trying new things and getting ourselves into more shit just because we always think that there should be more to life. We search n search but once we're there we feel empty and there's that thought on whether we have done enough, mixed together with that glimmer of hope that there is still somemore of the things we're looking for out there. I just hate it!

Anyway right now, just woke up. Watching the Golden Globe Awards right now, geez i really wanna watch the movie Walk The Line, it looks very nice. Memoirs Of a Geisha looks damn nice also, im really digging the artsy kinda backdrop of the entire show and believe or not, i think that Zhang Zhiyi actually did a really good job. Ya i know her english isn't that good but i can see that she's trying and the way she tries to articulate properly and how she emphasises on the right english expressions, well u gotta give her some credit.

Was talking to JJ yesterday, i really admire the guy, i mean going through an operation n not being about to go out or do the things he enjoys for so many months it really takes a toll on anyone. But he sounded like he was doing very well and we're even planning to buy a PS2 together at Sim Lim after Chinese New Year, so hopefully we'll be able to get a discount!! haha! I know! im blowing all my hard earned cash on that but its well worth it!! Plus if anyone's bored can just call me n come over to my place n we could have a PS2 marathon all day!

Ok just got a call from Chris from CK Tang, argh they don have anyone so they ask me to work on friday!! my off day!! Somemore got jamming session after that at 7pm till 9pm, the guitarist in my band go n enter us into some competition! omg scary! never tell me and he just entered us like that, argh.... anyway the prelims are on Sunday at orchard youth park and the finals would be on the 5th of Feb and don't worry its not SUPERBAND!! its just another competition. Anyway ya i gotta work on Friday at Tangs and the best part is they wan me to go n buy a black T-shirt cos they don have enough yet, the stock for the new promo (Aramis Always) uniform not here yet plus they urgently need ppl so im like ok lor, since Jolene also kinda persuaded me.
Later in the evening i also gotta go to work at Raffles at 4.35pm then wait for the staff there to go makan fist then once they come back i have to move to Seiyu Bugis and i can finally leave at 10.05.

Oh there's the show Facelift now on Channel 5! so nice, have so many things to write about but hmm...later i guess wanna watch TV now! see ya

Dumb Ass Maniacs

2006-01-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

ok here's the thing, i said that i would write about prom night and everything but since it happened like ages ago i'll just let it slide. Why are people so irritating, come on i think its really pointless for somebody like me to even bother to be nice. Just came back from work, omg! here's wad happened today. Woke up this morning and slacked, walked around in my sleep clothes with my gravity defying hairstyle. Mom and Dad were their usual selves, they like to leave my room door open and its so irritatin. Don't they know that its kinda hard to slp with the damn light coming into my room? Later on after i change n stuff, we went to Parkway to have branch. Ate at this Chinese resturant ( the one beside rotiboy at the basement) the food was really good ordered quite a lot. I especially enjoyed the cereal fried tofu, for once i can actually eat the main dish cos usually it would be prawns(butter prawn dish) if you guys know wad im talking about.

Dad later gave me a lift to work at bugis, ok and here's where i almost slapped someone. I went into the staff entrance n i gave my ic to the security guard so he could give me my promoter badge, at the same time passing him my bag so he could keep in one of those pigeon holes. He gave me the number tag for the bag n didn't pass me the badge. Then i was like, "uncle where's my badge?" he was like i gave u already wad? I kept repeating n repeating that he only gave me the tag n not the badge, he kept insisting that he did and he even pass my bag back to me so i can check whether i put it inside. "Uncle u only gave me the tag, not the badge!" finally he just gave in n gave me the badge. God! i don mean to be rude but i was already a few minutes late.

So then i stood there at the Aramis counter for hours n hours, time passed so slowly today. Was waiting for 4 "o" clock to arrive so that Melvyn would come to take over while i go makan, he came n we talked till 4.30 halfway through while he was attending to some customers Nicholas dropped by in his Cartel uniform. I was kinda surprised that he came, omg all the way from siglap! thanks ^_~ wasn't hungry cos remember had that heavy branch, so we went to walk around bugis n bought some drinks.
5.30 came too soon n i had to go back to work, said bye to Nicholas and went back to work. Stood for 7 hours today n sold only one product!! n it wasn't even an expensive one, $60 for the lab series Day Rescue, ARGH!!

Time passed so slowly and i felt like i stood for 2 days already n it was still 7pm i wanted to die! Talked to Shida from Ralph Lauren at around 8, she told me bout her scary experience while on a company function cum holiday in the past. So scary!! Blah blah blah and finally it was almost 10, quickly kept all the testers in the storeroom n waited for the stupid bell to ring so i can off the lights. ok then here comes the horrible part again. The idiotic guard again!! i passed the guy my badge n tag number, he returned my ic n he totally forgot to take my bag for me. i was right there standing right in front of him n he can just return all the bags to the ppl behind me just because he couldn't find my bag. I stood there n panicked cos i thought he lost my bag, i couldn't see it anywhere. I asked the guy in a panicky kinda voice n he asked me wad color was my bag, i told him n then donno y he got distracted n gave somemore bags back to the other staff who just came in. I was like u FUCKER!! in my mind ofcourse, then i started to raise my voice n he ignored again. finally when he returned another persons bag i saw mine which was folded n shoved under that bag. I was like "There Uncle! there's my bag!!" practically everyone left already, n i was the only idiot still there.

I was super pissed! then left that place n got picked up by my dad n we went to go eat at MAc, ate the rice burger! omg!! perfection in the making man, delicious much better then mos burger's rice burger. ok then went home, showered n viola! here i am now. ok tired of typing now, more entries in the future!

Free(Glitters)

2005-11-29T18:46:00.000+08:00

Free(Glitters)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Shane n me during the performance for Ping Yi Idol.. Will update you guys on prom later in my next entry..too lazy to do it now haha...

Jolene & Me

2005-11-21T21:38:00.000+08:00

Jolene & Me
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Just Jolene and me at orchard. It was so fun, hey we should do it more often. Even Jazrel n Denise had such a great time, we really did splurge a lot that day....went to eat at this delicious Japanese fast food resturant called "Pepper lunch", bought the new "shaker fries" from Mac, Popcorn Chicken from KFC and even some ear-rings(black stud for me ofcourse), Gosh we were like burning money! Donno wad came over me...Also went to watch the Emily Rose movie, it was kinda scary haha, to think that 3am is actually the time where Jesus died on the cross, it really spooked me and i spent the next few days getting freaked out when i woke up at around 3-4am in the morning. We even got to get some samples of limited edition CK perfume, now ain't that a treat, not to mention a beautiful BEAUTIFUL jacket i couldn't get my eyes off. Well the day past quite fast and we didn't get to shop that much but guys..ok ok..gals(u happy now?) i think we should hang out again, its really been such a long time. Oh ya tell me how's it going with ahem..u know who right Jazrel? Im a little bit kepo u know me right...talk to u soon

Yay!

2005-11-16T15:47:00.000+08:00

New Blog skin, new ppl and finally a new beginning. Its finally happening just one more "O" Level exam to go through and im free from this vicious cycle of facades and study. Finally i can start living! Prom's coming and i can't wait, already thought of what song to sing. Goddess, its been such a long road and i can't believe we're all actually made it this far. I mean, a while ago we were just innocent, big eyed, tiny primary kids( Well, not all of us were that tiny, HAHA! if you get what i mean) that entered secondary school. We were so curious about everything around us and the ppl, we just lived and breathed it all in. It seemed like a long way till the O's as we had like 5 years! come on, y worry? But now we're here nearing the end of our secondary school journey and moving on to institutes of higher learning. We've discovered ourselves and we know how we want to portray ourselves and stuff( well although there are some very irritatin traits i can't stand bout others n myself) but who the hell cares, some of us might never see each other again and if we do it, would just be for a brief moment. Im currently thinking of getting a job, probably one which doesn't require me to clean all the time, lookin around n stuff and would like it if someone wanna join? would be much more fun although there might be the occasional quarrel but hey! where's the life if there's no drama right. I was on my way home today after the Geography exam and i saw this hugh bird in the sky having an aerial battle with a Mynah and i remember just a few days ago, when i was watchin the last episode of the first season of OTH(One Tree Hill) when Lucas mentioned that a single Falcon in the sky meant that a new beginning was near for the viewer, but a flock of Falcons meant that disaster was near. Well the bird that i saw in the sky looked like a Falcon, though it might no neccesarily have been one, it sure looked like one. Large wingspan, beautiful earth toned colouring, laced with the most intricate black markings i've seen so far n somehow it just reminded me of the saying in OTH n it struck a nerve, it really did. I really do hope a new beginning will occur soon, i really need it and i have this feeling at the pit of my stomach that its near and soon things'll change. So till then i'll catch you later.

2005-10-13T17:37:00.000+08:00

Just decided to blog again after such a long time. Well doin nothing now, just listening to a bit of Tyler Hilton and chatting on MSN, hmm.. nothin much's happened, just that the "O" levels are just around the corner and everyone is like freaking out! It seemed like just yesterday that we finished our "N" Levels, can't wait for this torment to be over man, i wanna start living life. Anywayz i've completed my art preps and i so hope they give me a good mark for them, cos i've put in so much effort! Everythings going quite okay,the science practicals r on next thursday n im like freaking out, gotta think positive n stay positive ya. Got nothing much to say, hmm..maybe next time....

Michelle, Teddy and Baby girl(Owen)

2005-08-26T22:17:00.001+08:00

Michelle, Teddy and Baby girl(Owen)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Michelle and Baby girl(Owen)

2005-08-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

Michelle and Baby girl(Owen)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Michelle and Baby girl(Owen)

2005-08-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

Michelle and Baby girl(Owen)5
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Omg!! Michelle Branch has finally given birth!! Her baby girls's name is Owen Isabelle...freaking cute can! i think the three of them make such a cute family and i wish them all the best for the future. U ROCK MICHELLE!

2005-07-14T20:37:00.000+08:00

i was in school the whole day today, just came back, had my dinner and currently here typing.Well today wasn't really that bad, went for classes as usual and then we had to stay back for maths remedial. Actually it was more of a help urself session, everyone was busy at their work including myself. I hate it when everyone understands how to do their maths problems but me. Its like for every question i'll always stop midway as my mental flow of thoughts just cease, its like i take a longer time to process all the information provided by the question. I was almost at the point of tears today but thank god, Alfred and Vaish helped me along the way. THANKS GUYS! Eariler in the day i was in the art room, i was just minding my own business, just trying to, you know keep a low profile, when Amalina decided to come sit and chat with me. At first i was a bit apprehensive as i always thought that Amalina and me had very different views about lots of stuff, but what suprised me was that i was so at ease talking to her. We could somehow relate to each others issues and reactions. We talked about lots of stuff, more of hers actually, u know me im not the type to speak a lot about myself, im more private. Anyway it was really fun and i even told her how i admired her upfront/blunt personality, said that i should learn from her and stuff. I could see that she was a little pleased and i let her bask in the moment for a while. Well we continued talkin bout other stuff which i can't really say here, its more personal to me n her. It was really hot today (meaning temperature of the weather!!) i don't understand why the weather won't just give it a rest already, its been like this since the start of the year. Its either hot and humid or it will rain but the atmosphere would still be hot and humid. If only i could live in Australia,it would be so much better. hmm, thats pretty much what i can come up with at the moment, see ya in the next post.

2005-07-07T16:57:00.000+08:00

hahahaha!,okay here's the funny thing,i went to school today and thought everything was going to be very horrible. Yes it did turn out to be something like that,but at the end of the day i was practically laughing n smiling.I thought of why am i even letting "stuff" from other ppl affect me? y should i give them the satisfaction of seeing me fall,i realised i was being naive and just changed my outlook on the whole thing.I mean its not your problem that there are people who wish ill will upon you, some examples;backstabbing,bad mouthing,bitching and ignoring. hahahahhahaahaha! it doesn't really pay being nice anyway,hmm....thinking of changing my "nice" with a, "wad the F#2K do you want?" front. Pls whoever's reading this,don't be to concerned for me,i'm just going through minor changes in my life right now.Looking forward to it!

2005-07-05T20:15:00.000+08:00

Funny,but i much rather be a loner,everything works out as planned,there are minimal disappointments and i get what i want most of the time.Getting wad one wants,isn't that always the issue with everyone? Everyone is ultimatly doing the things they do,saying the thing they say and acting they way they do just to get what they want.Its very rare that someone's actually really concern for your well being,he/she may be somewhat concerned but at the end of the day,they really couldn't give a rats ass about you at all,its all about what they want and what they'll gain in the end.Even "best friends" ,i seriously disagree that anyone person can truly have one.Friends move in and out of everyone's life at different points,when they get tired of you or when they backstab you from behind,after which they leave as they can't bring themselves to look at you.(chicken!)Even couples,ppl that state,time and time again that they love each other and would give up everything for one another fails in my books! There will always be that part of the person which needs time to his/herself,that part,most of the time also consist of secrets that the other partner will never know and the fact that all decisions and actions will always be based on what he/she will gain in the end.For those reasons i've always found myself coming to a crossroad in thought,a person can only be on his/her own for as long as his/her sanity alone permits.After which the mind soon craves for mental stimulation by interaction with another person,but during this period of interaction,one can't help but form bonds with the other person.False promises and fake concerns by the other individual forms wishful thinking on one's part and when things don't work out, words and true colors come out thereby breaking the other person into two.So can one really have "good/best friends"? i don't know,but im only 17 and hope all my bad experiences now will be wiped out by better ones in the future..

Why do ppl act the way they do?

2005-07-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i find that peoples' reactions and image are all shaped by the people around them as well as other influential mediums such as television programmes,books,magazines and etc. What i can't stand is the fact that these people actually justify their sudden outbursts,rudeness,absolute lack of conduct and moral values as normalcy. They assume that their reactions are totally understandable,in other words accepted.Take for example the recent television series "An Eye For A Guy", one of the male contestants Shan Wee, at one point of the show was being dumped by Denise Keller,his composure and attitude totally changed,from nice guy to "i'll bite your head off, if ya don't back off!" guy. Even when Denise offered an "Im sorry" hug, he didn't even so much as lift a finger to accept her apology,only after an awkward pause with Denise in mid hug did he finally succumb to defeat.I mean come on,this is reality here,real feelings and emotions are invloved and are very much at play,if one chooses to "copy" these fake and sometimes unnecessary reactions, one should as least get him/herself ready to lose close friends and even get an earful from any passing stranger.Furthermore we are living in an Asian society where people demand respect and the upholding of traditions of old.I'm not saying that we as modern asians,should dwell in the past and should be inhibited in whatever we do or say but im merely stating the fact that this is not the west and certain reactions,words and etc are sometimes not neccessary. Therefore i urge anyone reading this blog entry to reflect and if any bring your own flaws to light and see if there is any room for a positive change and an improvement.

Plastic Illusions

2005-06-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

Plastic Illusions
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

This picture shows the duality of human nature, the masks we put on in front of people we talk,work and play with.It also reflects some aspects of me...

Wad you looking at!(Jere's party)

2005-06-26T17:59:00.000+08:00

Wad you looking at!(Jere's party)
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

Is this pose bitchy enough?

BlackFetish

2005-06-26T02:08:00.000+08:00

BlackFetish
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

This pic was taken at grandmother's birthday dinner, me and my sister Denise trying to look cool. The dinner was hot! the food was quite good, considering it was all cooked by an 18 year old guy. We had pumpkin soup,escargots,Foie Gras(Duck Liver),steak and etc. The killer was the desert, it was an apple-pie kinda patty and there were these thin fried slices of apple on top of the patty,such that it looked like a lotus.It was served together with vanilla ice-cream and it tasted like heaven! Oh and while waiting for desert my cousin and i went downstairs and there was this costume shop! an employee in the shop let us play with this tiny little kitten(FREAKING ADORABLE CAN!!) this incident really made me like cats. Anyway went back, sang the birthday song,ate ice-cream BD cake,took more pictures,talked and then we finally decided to head for home.Okay im gonna go to sleep now,have church 2morrow. See ya!

Belwicket

2005-06-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

Belwicket
Originally uploaded by BlackFender.

ok,im using Ivan's labtop now,thank god! and i can finally tag something,my damn computer at home's giving problems.Anyway i've finally figured out how to use this flickr thing Daryl introduced to me.Decided to upload this picture taken by Ivan at Jere's party.I edited it using photoshop and viola the rest is history

New Look!

2005-06-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

After lots and lots of debating, i've finally decided to give my blog a new skin.Sheesh! and im loving it.Very refreshing,its a big change from my previous Michelle Branch skin.Well doing something new isn't easy,especially changing and trying to get use to the formatting of this blog's template. I was franticly trying to upload a song of Marion Ravens' on this blog but as you can see,it wasn't successful.Freaking stressful can! plus the tagboard is giving me problems,im starting to think its not the board but there's a problem with my computer.I tried using a different tagboard just now but the results were still the same,fuck that! okay before i bore you guys anymore with my failed attempts at making my blog beautiful,i shall talk about other stuff.Don't you find that you somehow or rather flirt whenever you meet new people or when you talk to your friends.I mean i always thought it was just my way of being nice to people,how i communicate but all that came crashing down on me the other day when Vaish finally brought it to my attention.i was so embarassed! Well some of you must be shaking your heads now saying no but trust me you do "flirt" at some degree. Sometimes giving the wrong impression to others,somehow getting them to start liking you.hmm...reminds me of some people i know. Anyway my point is how can one stop it from happening?Is it part of human nature or does it stem from the persons' upbringing?feel free to email me @ (icesushi@yahoo.com.sg)if you have any comments on this issue,or tag my tagboard,i would love to hear ur comments! okay thats all for now...keep ya updated.

2005-06-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

Lovely just lovely,isn't it? Its another one of those days where u just want it to pass as quickly as possible...well went to school today for maths lessons, yup..the same as usual and spent a good 5 hours using what's left of my brain juice, to practice math. It was rather surprising as i expected more people to turn up for it, hey we're taking our "O's" at the end of the year and well i guess i expected more to turn up, since the ever guilty feeling is there,plus a bonus juicy side dish to add to the mix,made specially by no one other then my "caring" teacher, Miss Goh...."Over Caring" is more like it haha! No big surprise anyway, only those who were involved in the drumming festival turned up, well a few... We were having fun getting every opportunity to talk and joke. I even took the time to send one of Vaish's pics to my phone, i thought it look rather, "style", "glamour" haha...pls Vaish don't get "Big Headed" Anyway went back after that didn't stay around to talk, everyone was kinda bummed out by then already, and i was a bit grumpy as well becos of a phone call. Came back watched what was left of the Oprah show and then proceeded to heat my Mom's Casserole in the toaster, goddess it was so rich n fatterning, but hey, can u blame a guy for loving his food? Its much better to be happy then being super fit and unhappy right? Used the computer, heared a few songs and then got forced by my sister, to walk my dog while iwas watching Buffy. The most irritating part about the whole thing is that the excuse she gave me was totally crap! "Darren u bring the dog down ah? i can't cos im painting my nails." By the way it was 5.30pm n we usually bring the dog down at 6pm... its like..wouldn't ur damn nails be dry by then, freaking lazy ass! Hmm..but i gave in and brought Patches down, i didn't want to argue with her and cos i also felt a bit guilty after eating some sinful snacks... It was fun actually, it was drizzling and i was listening to Marion Raven's lovely angry songs(i was in the mood to bitch!) it was kinda like therapy for me. Went back upstairs to my gram's, had dinner, watched Charmed and here i am... stoning..kk till my next blog entry..

2005-06-19T20:43:00.000+08:00

woo-hoo!! yesterday was like the bomb! the drumming finale which we've all have been training so hard for was such a success, it was such a freaking loud, creative, groovy show n i would do it all again. We got purple shirts n got to be with each other n im glad to say we're all(ppl in belwicket) getting really close again, especially now when all the things that have been holding us back has been erased. Daryl, Hanz, my dad, sister and cousin came to watch us, we also took like tons of pictures in the hall where all our instruments were kept. Hmmm... well now, im just stoning at home praying that something interesting might come up, went to church today, boring as usual and after that my parents took us to go eat. Later on my dad dropped my mom off for work at Taka n he n i headed off to Suntec City to buy stuff. i Went to tower records n bought myself the Marion Raven CD "Here I Am" (IM NOT BETRAYING MICHELLE BRANCH)(SHE'S STILL THE BEST!!) Kinda nice the songs, very angry ones! just right for me haha! we then went to buy some groceries, mostly fruits and then we went back home.

2005-06-16T18:20:00.000+08:00

just came back from drumming practice, my goodness, feel really really drained! it was really fun today, everyone was drumming in unison n we even practice how to march, haha!! can't wait for 2morrow, its like the final rehearsal before the final day which is on sat. Halfway through practice, i n a few ppl including Vaish, Li jUN, Farhan n etc got called up to stage to perform a part of wad've learned for the performance. It wasn't drumming but we used ourselves as the instrument, we like clapping n stamping our feet n it sounded very close to that song called "We will rock you" ya!! so fun! well the whole day was a blash we gotta laugh, make fun of teachers n gossip, mostly "scandalous", lame crap. Oh n ya you win vaish, im to lazy to go jogging now, so freaking tired...erm can someone help me? i can't seem to tag anyone's tagboards, they also say that the cookies are deactivated. like wad the hell does that mean? anyway i can't wait for tonight!! there's "Lost", "OC" and "One Tree Hill" so exciting!! not to mention "eye candy" hahahaaha!!

2005-06-02T20:14:00.000+08:00

hmm...bored.. so decided to share some affirmations(Spells),i wrote..

1)Goddess Of Light
I call upon thee
I summon thy love and light
To guide me in my endless plight
From dawn till dusk
This perpetual plastic mask be cast
Out of my being
And into the endless spiral
Which draws from life.

2)The fire
Gone from this lost love
Shall be the flame
That burns from within thee
Thee shall feel thy hurt and loss
Of which thy brought upon thyself.

Poem..

1)The darkest night of the year
Can never hide this fear
Oh how she prowls, with good ear
The man she wants to make disappear
From the life of one who holds him dear
Oh well,all one can do is tear.

2)Don't you see how lost she is?
That no one cares
When she leaves.
Desperate calls
Ring all night long
From this once
Shameless know-it-all.

How can i pretend to be
Someone who isn't really me?
Do you really think
Walking back in my life
Is just the thing?

You shouldn't be so keen
As things are never what they seem.
Face it!
You'll never be with me.

2005-05-18T23:07:00.001+08:00

2005-05-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

2005-05-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

Senoko Power Plant

2005-05-18T22:08:00.000+08:00

Very bored right now, just sitting in my freezing room....staring blankly at my computer.... oh wad the hell i'll just blog!! Okay today was kind of a slow day, i lazed around in bed, was in between the astral n mundane plane at different hours...i was half awake n asleep at different times...then when i realised it was 10am i forced myself to wake up, i wanted to watch some tv n relax b4 i went to school for this excusion trip to Senoko power plant. At around 12.15pm i rushed, showered, changed, sms-ed JJ, played the guitar for 5mins, got my stuff n took off. It was 12.45pm by the time i reached the bus stop n i was freaking shaking, the bus in school would be leaving at around 1pm!! i was like "Goddess, pls make the 196 bus come now!!" , basically i knew i was screwed. But thank the Goddess i managed to reach the bus stop in school excatly at 1pm..Shahirah called n was somewhat hesterical, she was like "Darren!! where r u? the bus is going to leave now!" i freaked, furthermore the damn gate at the corner wasn't open so i had to run like hell all the way to the main gate. Got there saw Miss Teo aka Geok Bee, Mr Lim CC n some unknown teacher in a car driving out, Miss teo was like waving n to my amazement Mr Lim also did..haha! it was a nice surprise... anyway i managed to get on the bus on time. In the end the bus left at 1.30pm, was freakin urgent all the way to the power plant in woodlands. When we got there i ran into the toilet, the whole group then waited outside in some lobby, the person in charge of tourin us around took such a damn long time to come.. Finally after some waiting he came n then proceeded to an exibit n started to explain to us the processes of how they producing electricity. The guy was so freaking nervous n gave us a very long detailed explaination, talk talk talk talk, we stood there for like half an hour...imagine its only just one exibit!! then after that we went the second one, halfway through the thing everyone was so freaking fed up with the guy that they just sat down on the floor. it was pretty hilarious, anyway after that we went around the place, i have to admit it was very impressive, everything was like hugh!! by the way they made everyone wear ear plugs n helmets, we all looked so goofy!! By around 4pm we were all so bummed out, plus the heat wasn't helping. Transformers, generators n etc passed as we walked n finally headed back to the main building to have refreshments n a debrief. We then went down to the exibition room again, took a picture, said our goodbyes n left, i have to say some of the students from the 4 express that came were just plain weird! this one girl, earlier in the exibition room, she couldn't just sit on the floor, she had to go out of her way to get a brochure to sit on...talk about fussy man! We went up the bus n then left for school....hmm...wow..that was boring! haha... i just hope 2morrow will be a much better day..

2005-04-04T17:53:00.000+08:00

well a new month, another new blog entry. Its been quite sometime since i've blogged and frankly to tell u the truth its because i was lazy...so sue me!! So many freaking things have happened since Chinese New Year man!Anyway im in the school library right now, just slacking during MT lessons since all the guys r here. Its actually kinda nice to skip lessons, but i don think i would be doing it too often since u know...gotta keep up "The Image"..haha..wad can i say. Erm by the way something extremely surpirsing happened today, but sorry to snuff ur fire, not gonna say nothing man..^_~ As you guys know Jeremiah n Lady Luna are having this Chalet thing n i would really like to go, but only if 3 or 4 ppl come with me too, don worry k its gonna be fun! i think Jere said its less then $30 for 2 nights plus the BBQ and oh i don think its gonna be like last years Samhain thing..haha, Goddess! i hope not. So i really need an answer on who's coming n stuff, just tag..i think it would be fun, im hoping to learn a thing or two from Lady Luna bout the tarot n stuff, just hope everthing will turn out great. hmmm... sitting beside Lucas now, guess who he's looking at...ya Cassendra on friendster! like so lame can! ppl say they don like him in that way already but he still so persistant, donno y he typed the word whore n search in yahoo also.. anyway i guess i gotta go now...don have much to type, don worry i'll try my best to update soon k..bye

rantings

2005-02-11T11:45:00.000+08:00

today's a friday and everyone is in school,while im not, cos i thought we had made a decision not to go today. well anyway, i hope my maths teacher doesn't give us much hw. Who am i kidding, she will give us lots of hw, well it doesn't really matter i wouldn't finish all of it anyway. it doesn't really feel like Chinese New Year this year, the festive mood just isn't there and frankly i rather just stay at home.Hell i only collected $100 plus for myself n the worst red packet i got, only contained $2 and they say that Singapores economy is improving. maybe its because we're all grown up and the once happy feelings we got during the Chinese New Year all faded away, just like our disappearing youth. Gosh everyone is growing up so fast, i feel like im 30 already!! haha..
Yesterday my family and i went over to visit my mom's primary or was it secondary school teacher? anyway we do this every Chinese New YEar, i just love her chicken rice and all her other lovely dishes. At fist we called her Auntie Spaghetti, cos she always cooked that during the New Year but that lasted for like 3 years and now she always cooks chicken rice.So i guess she's auntie chicken rice?? HAHA! She's really nice and i can't believe she even remembered my name, had fun chatting with my cousins and stuff, laughed n joked. N not forgetting eating n drinking lots of sickeningly sweet and fatterning foods,plus drinks.i think i wanna go jogging today...Oh ya my parents won't be in this Sunday, they're going to my Aunts house, so guys..i don think you can visit my house this year...unless you wanna postpone it?? Saturday's a nono, going to my cousins house and im not going to skip ok!! i visit her house like once a year only, so ya...Finally i would just like to wish everyone reading this entry a very Happy Chinese New Year and pls its time to cut down on those fatterning foods!! haha..

depressed

2005-02-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

feeling really down, fought with someone....shouldn't have done the things i did,maths ,chemistry, physics, art all piling up. Is this real, or am i breaking down. Days in school pass real slow, life becomes but a show. Nothin good happens here, all i wanted was good cheer.

(GoD! im SO FreAkiNG NeGATiVE!!!)

*~~bLisSful_TrAnQuiLity~~*

I've Moved!

Goodbye to a wonderful year

Bengs n Lians Unite!

fuckin blog

Devil's Bar Baby

MaMa...

Wasting Good Time

CHeck This Out

ramblings

Im Liking How It Hurts

gone

cannot make it...

ahh!!!

The Murder Of Bang Lun

it rises!

Whore

Ballerina Moment

Runway

The GANG!

Bye bye fathers day

Mad Woman2

Hanif And Me(step model only...)

Innocent Marina, we forced her to do it!

Mad Woman(Charmy)

Acting seductive...don think its working though!! hehe!

Hanif(sufferin from constipation)

................

Porn Stars2

Porn Stars

Porn Star

wallpaper

wallpaperroom

Scandalous

hell week

i like this effect...

MYOHMY

meow!

....................

BITCHIN SESSION 1

ENOUGH!

Rainy Days

brooding...

FUN FUN FUN

love the pink

dramatic shot!

Hippie Chicks

Sunny Days

In Sch!

Nina n me

Poly models

WTF!! Angelina!! hahaaha!

Me n Trixie

Nuria! OHM!

Camp Ignite!

Very model like

Crazy ppl

Half Done Design

Half of Nuria!!

thoughts in a bottle...

Denise n Me

He he!

Makan!

Posin

Argh! Early Mornings...

THE WRECKERS

They're Here!

ramblings

Cousins(Chinese New Year)

Just a thought

Dumb Ass Maniacs

Free(Glitters)

Jolene & Me

Yay!

Michelle, Teddy and Baby girl(Owen)

Michelle and Baby girl(Owen)

Michelle and Baby girl(Owen)

Why do ppl act the way they do?

Plastic Illusions

Wad you looking at!(Jere's party)

bLisSful_TrAnQuiLity